Nightmares and Tears
by Pocky Whore
Summary: Naruto often suffers from horrible nightmares. But little does he know that some one is watching him with sad eyes as he lays there crying and broken.
1. Chapter 1

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_**Author-** I don't own Naruto nor do i own The lyrics that I added before and after the song.  
This will possably become a SasuNaru pairing story so look forward to future chapters...If you review._

_Enjoy_

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_I let myself fall into a lie  
I let my walls come down  
I let myself smile and feel alive  
I let my walls come down  
No matter how i try i don't know why  
You push so far away  
You wrapped your hands tight around my heart  
And squeezed it full of pain  
__  
-Smile Empty Soul_

_-  
-_

_**Chapter One**_

_-  
-_

Have you ever woken up from a nightmare only to find yourself shaking and shivering? Have you ever had a dream so frightful or emotional that when you woke you had to clutch your body close and force yourself to believe that all it had been was a dream? Have you ever had to will yourself to keep down your tears only to fail and sob into your pillow miserably? I have.

More often then not I wake screeching and crying. Sometimes I can't even remember what I've dreamt but the emotions from the dream manage to carry over into my weak. On the rare occasion that I can remember my nightmares I wish I could forget them. Usually the dream consists of blood and hatred. My precious people dieing or being killed. Its not an image I'd prefer to have linger in my head, but its burned into my memory. Exposing my every weakness. Usually I lay shaking in my bed until I fall again into a restless sleep. But not tonight.

Tonight I had waken from yet another nightmare. This had been the kind that I couldn't remember. I only had a small whispered memory of the dream. It didn't matter what it had been about, all I know is that it had had a huge impact on my mind. I didn't need to remember it to know that I was glad I couldn't.

It had proven useless tonight to try and regain my disturbed sleep. I had lain awake for almost 2 hours before I gave up on getting back to bed. I didn't want to sleep anyway incase the dream would return. So tonight I'd have to make due without sleep. They say its overrated anyway.

So tonight I found myself on the roof of the academy. I don't know why but the atmosphere relaxed me slightly. I could feel my tension little my little draining from my sleepless body as I watched the starless sky and felt the cool nighttime breeze. I drew my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around myself and let out a sigh as I rested my chin on them. The chilly wind swept across my cheeks again and ruffled my already messy hair.

It was peaceful here. Despite being alone all my life it was comforting to be alone right now. Alone with my thoughts and feelings. But I still couldn't ignore the aching in my chest that wished for someone to embrace and comfort me in times like this. In times where I was certain I could loss to my own sickening darkness.

I hate to admit it but inside me there is darkness that I cannot control. Darkness that I suppose everyone has. The darkness inside that makes one able to hate or kill. I guess its just a trait that all human posses. But my darkness is hard to control. It takes all my strength to have a happy front. To keep my happy go lucky mask in place around others. And the thing inside of me only adds to my hardship.

I sigh again and manage to tighten my grip around my knees almost painfully bringing myself closer. I don't want to say it out loud but I know I'm scared. Scared that other people will hurt me, or that I'll hurt myself. I bury my head in between my knees trying desperately to shield myself from the hatful outside world. I'm fighting a battle within myself. Its not like I asked from my child hood to be practically stolen from me. I didn't ask for a demon to be housed inside of my unwilling body. I didn't ask for any of this. Yet here I am.

I growl slightly under my wavering breath. The elders hate me for something that's beyond my control. Its not like they dislike me because of who I am, they dislike me because of what I am. They never even spare a second glace at me once they realize who I am. And now it has rubbed of on their children. Now a whole new generation wants me dead. Oh joy.

It's a wonder I haven't ended up like Garra. Its as if all life has been drained out of him except his hatred. No one should have to live like we've lived. It isn't fair, but since when is life fair I wonder.

I uncurl myself from the cocoon I've created around my body and stand up on numb legs. I move towards the edge of the building a look over. I wonder sullenly if the fall would kill me? I quikly shake that thought out of my head before plopping into a sitting position. Only this time my legs are dangling dangerously over the edge. I have no intention of killing myself, but the thought of eternal peace is quite appealing. And I break the eerie night silence since the first time I got here, not caring If I sound foolish talking to myself.

" I'm worthless." I whisper a single short sentence in the deadness of the night. I'd been told all my life how worthless I was and by now I had began to believe it. Especially when I was alone with my darkness.

I sit a few more minuets staring at the blank abyss that is the sky. I slowly run my fingers through my hair and glace down off the side of the building again. I laugh at myself. I'm so foolish. I pick myself up again and dust myself off. Then I turn and walk away to make my away back to my apartment. Back to reality. Back to the nightmares and the tears.

Unnoticed by me is pair of eyes that had been watching me. Sad eyes that knew my pain. Pitch black eyes belonging to a boy about my own age. Eyes that I knew. Eyes that were etched into the face of a slim pale boy with black hair. At the time I had been destracted. But I would soon realize that one Uchiha Sasuke had been watching me.

Che. Go figure.

-  
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I can't believe the way you took me down  
I never saw the pain  
Coming in a million broken miles  
Like poison for my veins  
_  
The hate and the fear  
The nightmares that wake me up  
In tears  
__The nightmares and the hate  
__And the fear,  
__The nightmares that wake me up in tears,  
__The nightmares and the hate,  
__And the fear  
__The nightmares that wake me up in tears  
__The nightmares and the hate.  
_

_-__Smile empty soul_


	2. Chapter 2

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I woke up feeling cold and empty as I usually did when I awake from a particularly emotional night mare. Glancing at the window I noticed that the weather matched how I felt. The Rain falling heavily against the closed window pane.

I sat up in bed and sighed, watching the small white could that emitted from me every time I breathed out. My skin was slightly heated from sweat and the cool air felt somehow relaxing. I stood from my bed, bare feet meeting the cool floor boards chillingly, and I walked into my kitchen to get a glace of water.

As I walked down the hall to the kitchen I felt drawn to the front door. I walked towards it and pressed my hand against the bleak wood. I trailed my other hand down to the door knob feeling that it too was benumbed from the weather. I twisted the door open and gazed out the open door.

Splashes of damp rain water flecked across my still lukewarm flesh, and I stepped out into the dark storm, wearing only an oversized white tank top and boxers. The rain was rather soothing and I stood under it, just gazing into the blackened sky as the moisture engulfed me.

I wrapped my arms around my numbed body and closed my eyes tightly. I swayed slightly in the wind, but I stayed planted in my spot letting the rain wash over me. And as I opened my eyes again and it felt, if only for a moment, that the rain had washed me clean. I screamed with the thunder and it wasn't until later that I realized that the moisture on my face was more from my own eyes than from the rain.

I felt like the whole world was moving so fast, like I was being left behind and as the rain fell I felt dizzy. I wanted to go back inside into the shelter of my lonely house and lay in bed until my nightmare filled dreams returned, but like earlier in the hall, the rain was calling to me. Asking for me to embrace it. Like some sick twisted demand. And I could do nothing but obey it as I stood swaying in the rain.

When I felt a presence behind me I turned towards it curiously, only to find that I couldn't see in front of me. I was trapped in a seemingly never ending darkness. The presence came closer to me and in the light mist I could see a figure in the blankness. I tilted my head to the side and strained my eyes desperately trying to recognize the person before me.

The shadow stepped towards me again and a shiver worked its way down my raw body and I shook my head dispelling the haunted nightmares that I was reminded of. As the figure approached I could make out the dark hair sticking to their face and the slightly taller build than my own.

"Dobe."

With that one word any thoughts of doubt were swept away. Sasuke continued to walk towards me until he was less than a foot away. He extended his hand out to me and I looked up at him, not knowing what to do. With his extended hand he cupped my icy cheek and pulled back the sticky hair from my face. It felt odd having someone touch me with no intention to cause pain, and I leaned into his palm trying to retain some of its warmth.

He stood so close to me now that I could see into his eyes now. For a while we simply stared into eachothers eyes as the rain soaked us harshly. And maybe it was the way he was looking at me, or perhaps it was my own lonely desire that caused me to do it, but I leaned in and brushed my numbed lips against his slightly warmer ones.

I pulled back and looked up into his dark eyes. Dark. Just like everything else in my life. His thumb brushed over my parted lips before he too leaned down and moved his lips against mine. I pressed my hands against his chest and kissed him back gently. And as we kissed I sound myself crying. I'm not sure why, but I couldn't stop myself. And I cried against his already soaked chest and he wrapped his arms firmly around me bringing me closer into his chest.

And I cried for all the time that I hadn't allowed myself to. And I cried for everything I wanted, and everything I didn't have. I cried until I had no more tears to cry and my ragged heaving breaths and hiccups kept me from breathing. I felt suffercated and hepless until I felt the arms around my back tighten gradually before lifting me up bridal style. I rested my head against his chest and let him carry me back inside.

He dried me off as best he could before placing me back into my bed. He pulled the blankets over my shivering form and I could feel myself falling asleep. The surprise of his body laying next to me was dulled by my semi consciousness and I gladly accepted the arms the held me as I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

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	3. Chapter 3

_At night I hear it creeping  
At night I feel it move  
I'll never sleep here anymore  
I wish you never told me  
I wish I never knew  
I wake up screaming  
It's all because of you_

So real these voices in my head  
When it comes back you won't be  
Scared and lonely  
You won't be scared, you won't be  
You won't be scared and lonely  
You won't be scared you won't be lonely  
-

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**_Chapter 3_**

**_-_**

**_-_**

When I woke I noticed the pleasant warmth next to me that seemed to engulf me. I was so used to waking up shivering and cold, that this sudden warmth around me felt so relaxing. I noticed dully in my semiconscious state that my hair was slightly damp, but I didn't let it bother me. I didn't want to wake up. I was frightened that if I did that the warmth would disappear and I'd be cold again.

I moved closer to the warmth and whimpered desperately when it moved away from me. I heard a chuckle and felt the warmth move towards me again. If I had been awake I would have found this unusual but still half asleep I was so out of it that I didn't notice nor care. The only thing my foggy mind cared about at this moment was the pleasant heat pressed against the side of my body.

"Morning Sunshine." Something whispered against my ear. I cracked open one of my eye lids and winced slightly at the light. I clamped my eye closed before opening them both half way and then shutting them again. Hmm so the warmth had been Sasuke? Why was I not surprised. I guess I kinda knew all along what the warmth was, but hadn't really been paying attention.

I heard another chuckle and felt Sasuke tracing my face and stroking my cheeks. I smiled and swatted his hands away at the ticklish feeling he was leaving. I opened my eyes again when he started to thread his fingers gently through my hair. I looked up at him and he looked at me, and suddenly I felt happy.

I felt happy, and that caused me to panic. I wasn't used to happiness and now that I was I was scared. If I had a taste of what happiness felt like I knew I'd become greedy. I didn't want to be happy or feel loved. I was scared to.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position and away from Sasuke. I couldn't let this happen. I didn't want this to happen. Did I? Everything is just so fucked up. I swung my legs over the bed, turning my back to Sasuke and stood up. Damn it he's looking at me, and he probley has this stupid confused look on his face and for some reason I wanna just run away or cry or jump off a bridge or do SOMETHING.

So I settle for run. Why? I don't even know for sure why I'm running. All I know is that I feel so lost, and as I run I feel like I'm going in circles. Like I'm getting no where. I can hear Sasuke's surprised yell and I can hear his feet thumping the floor as he tries to catch up to me, but I'm already at the front door and its already half open by the time he is.

I've almost got the door open when he slams it shut before I can get out. I whirl around and find myself trapped between a rock and a hard place, Sasuke and the door. Now I don't know what to do. I can feel his eyes on me and his hands on either side of my face against the door and all I can do is stare at the floor. I didn't know what to say to him.

We just stood there for what seemed like hours, neither of us moving, and neither of us making eye contact with the other. Really, what was there to say? I was scared, and I could admit that to myself, but not to him, no never to Sasuke.

I wish he'd just yell at me. I wish he'd smack me or be mean to me, even just a little, because I can deal with pain. I'm so used to hatred, but this. This uneasy silence, the tension, the way he kept staring at me and the way I kept looking away. This I didn't know how to deal with.

And again I find myself wanting to cry, and I don't know why. But I won't. I won't cry in front of Sasuke. No not again. I know I'm weak. I know I'm scared and I know I'm helpless, but he doesn't have to know that, although I think he already does. He knows my weaknesses.

He reaches out to me and I flinch ever so slightly. Why? I'm not sure. He stopped reaching for me when he saw me flinch and if I had looked up maybe I'd have seen the hurt flash through his eyes as he pulled away from me and hung his head. He stepped away from me and I just stood there.

I took a step away from him, not knowing what else to do. He looked up at me, but his eyes where empty. I looked away from him again and this time I could feel the tears prickling at my eye lids. What was I doing? I didn't know. I wish I did.

He hung his head again, letting his dark bangs sweep his eyes out of my vision, and he opened the door and stepped out. He'd left. That's what I'd wanted from the start. Wasn't it? I slumped against the wall and fell to the floor. No. This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't it at all. I didn't want to be alone. Not again. Not after the taste of happiness from this morning.

I had been right. Sasuke had made me greedy. And as I sat knees to my chest against the bleak wooden floor I cried. I'd seemed to be doing that a lot lately, and it didn't look like the tears would be stopping any time soon.

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_I know there's something out there  
I think I hear it move  
I've never felt like this before  
I wish you never told me  
I wish I never knew  
I wake up screaming  
It's all because of you_

So real these voices in my head  
When it comes back you won't be  
Scared and lonely  
You won't be scared, you won't be  
You won't be scared and lonely  
You won't be scared you won't be lonely

Its all because of you  
I wish you never told me  
I wake up screaming now  
So real these voices in my head  
So real these voices in my head  
I wake up screaming now  
I wish you never told me  
I wish I never knew

Scared and lonely  
You won't be scared, you won't be  
You won't be scared and lonely  
You won't be scared you won't be lonely

Scared and lonely  
You won't be scared, you won't be  
You won't be scared and lonely  
You won't be scared you won't be lonely  
**-Three Days Grace**


	4. Chapter 4

It's like you're a drug  
It's like you're a demon I can't face down  
It's like I'm stuck  
It's like I'm running from you all the time  
And I know I let you have all the power  
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around  
It's like you're a leech  
Sucking the life from me  
It's like I can't breathe  
Without you inside of me  
And I know I let you have all the power  
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you  
It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts  
In my dreams  
You've taken over me  
It's like I'm not me  
It's like I'm not me  
-_Kelly Clarkson_

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**Chapter 4**

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I don't know for how long I sat there on the cold floor just staring at it. The tears where winding down my face smacking into the floor as they dripped from my chin. I wasn't trying to stop them anymore, I'd given up on hiding them ever since Sasuke had walked out the door.

I'd driven him away. Just like every other good thing in my life. I wanted to chase after him and tell him I hadn't meant to run away. I wanted to grab him and never let go. I wanted so many things that I could never have. Everything that didn't, doesn't and will always make sense.

I pulled myself up, steadying my wobbly body by holding steadily to the wall. The whole world was seemed to be spinning and I wanted nothing more than to sit back down. I made my way slowly down the hall still clinging to the wall. The hallway seemed longer than I remembered and I felt like it would never end. Like I'd be trapped in the hallway forever.

I whimpered and slid back down the nearest wall in the hallway. I couldn't move. My whole body felt numb. Everything hurt. My head, My body and my heart. I wanted it to stop I wanted it all the stop. Why did it hurt? Why wouldn't it stop?

I clutched my head between my hands bringing my head to rest on my knees that where drawn to my chest. I whimpered and I could feel the tears flowing again. It hurt. Why? I didn't want to hurt this much. I'm weak. I couldn't take this. Why wouldn't it stop?

And suddenly someone ran their fingers through my hair and I felt someone move to hold me to them. I looked up expecting, hoping, praying I'd see a pair of black eyes looking back at me. But when I looked up, there was no one. I was still alone. I had been all along. Alone. That almost hurt worse than the pain. The pain that wouldn't stop. The pain that felt like it would NEVER stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Please stop it. Please. It hurts. It hurts. Please. Make it stop. Please.

I snapped my head up away from my knees, breathing heavily, tears soaking my face. My eyes moved to the door. Just like the night before in the rain the door was calling to me, and the pain was pushed to the back of my mind for a moment.

I stood up again. The pain still throbbing mercilessly, but I stood none the less, wincing every time I stepped. I concentrated on walking. I could do this. One foot infront of the other. Step by step. Again and again. I could do this.

The hallway seemed longer than ever. With ever step forward it felt like I took two steps back. I'm go forward and the hallway would become longer. Why? Why is this happening? Why does it hurt? Why am I running in circles?

I finally made it to the end of the hall. The door stood before me, tall and barren. Still I could hear it whisper to me. Telling me to go to it. Telling me to open it. It's whispers seemed to echo around me. They were everywhere. And I know these voices in my head are mine alone. And it hurts again. Why does it always hurt?

I wrapped my hand around the door knob almost falling backwards. I could barely stand. Barely see straight. Why does it hurt? What's wrong with me? I struggled to stay standing. Gripping the door handle and leaning against the door.

I straightened myself out, and turned my hand slowly opening the door. It took all my will power to just stand up. I opened the door and leaned on it again for support, not wanting to fall. Not wanting more pain.

I opened the door completely. And there sitting against the wall beside the door sat Sasuke. He just sat staring down at the ground. He looked so lost. So confused. I wanted to cry out to him. I wanted to hold him or kiss him or cry on his shoulder or let him cry on mine. I wanted to him to be there for me.

I tried to cry out to him but my voice was raspy and wouldn't come out properly. I tried again clutching my through. Nothing. Nothing at all. I screamed silent screams and felt the tears flooding my eyes again. It hurt again. Why did it hurt? I tried again desperately to call out to Sasuke, but he couldn't hear me he was in his own world.

I felt my throat protesting as I continued to cry and to yell. My head hurt again. Everything hurt again. And then I felt like I was falling. Falling and falling until I felt my body smack into the ground. The last thing I saw before the blackness was a dark head of hair snap in my direction and then there was nothing. Just the pain.

_Why does it hurt? Why won't it stop? What's wrong with me?_

_-_

_-_

It's like I'm lost  
It's like I'm giving up slowly  
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me  
Leave me alone  
And I know these voices in my head  
Are mine alone  
And I know I'll never change my ways  
If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you  
It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts  
In my dreams  
You've taken over me  
It's like I'm not me  
It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you  
I need a fix  
I can't take it  
Just one more hit  
I promise I can deal with it  
I'll handle it, quit it  
Just one more time  
Then that's it  
Just a little bit more to get me through this  
I'm hooked on you  
I need a fix  
I can't take it  
Just one more hit  
I promise I can deal with it  
I'll handle it, quit it  
Just one more time  
Then that's it  
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe  
It's like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you  
It's like I can't think  
Without you interrupting me  
In my thoughts  
In my dreams  
You've taken over me  
It's like I'm not me  
It's like I'm not me  
-_Kelly Clarkson_


	5. Chapter 5

_You're too important for anyone  
You play the role of all you long to be  
But I, I know who you really are  
You're the one who cries when you're alone_

_But where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself  
You can't escape  
You can't escape_

You think that I can't see right through your eyes  
Scared to death you face reality  
No one seems to hear your hidden cries  
You're left to face yourself alone  


-

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When I woke up I felt cold. So cold.

The second thing I noticed was my head. My ears where ringing and it hurt so much. I brought my hand to my temple and winced slightly at the throbbing pain there. I couldn't figure out what the pain was from. I couldn't remember. I can't remember.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and tried to stand up. As soon as I stood I instantly regretted it. The whole world seemed to spinning. I cried out desperately hoping someone would save me, but I knew no one could hear me. And even if they could no one would help me.

As I began to fall I was able to twist my body and soften my landing, but still managed somehow to hit my head against my bed. I cried out again and clenched my teeth. Damn it. I have the worst luck. I tried to stand again and found the same results. I didn't know whether to cry, laugh or scream. Although I felt like doing them all. I reached over to my bed side table from the ground and popped a few aspirin in my mouth and swallowed them dry. Who ever invented aspirin is my God.

The aspirin didn't start working right away but I could feel a difference within a couple of minuets. I imagine this is what a hang over feels like. I'm never going to drink. This sucks too much.

The floorboards felt cold against me and I wanted so badly to just crawl back into bed, but I don't have the strength to pull myself up. Early morning light is beginning to spill in through the windows and I screw my eyes shut trying to block out the harsh sunlight. Stupid sun. Stupid head.

I closed my eyes and leaned against my bed frame. No use trying to get up now. I decided that sleeping on the ground was better than trying to stand again. Besides my stomach was in knots and I didn't feel like moving much. The floor would just have to do for now.

I was almost asleep when I heard my bedroom door open. I was too drowsy to care much though. I could see a faint silhouette through my eye lids. Someone was kneeling in front of me. They reached a hand towards me and despite myself I couldn't help from yawning and moving away from the sunlight that was increasing in the room. The figure stopped and watched me as I settled back against my bed. I didn't feel like waking up for this person. I needed sleep.

The figure made no further movements so I continued to let myself drift off. Even in my half conscience mind I could tell that this person, man, didn't mean me any harm. I don't know how I knew, but I felt relaxed even while drifting to sleep in the presence of another ninja. I knew it was a ninja because they were masking their presence pretty well.

"Naruto." A voice whispered quietly.

I opened one of my eyes tiredly and saw Sasuke standing in front of me. I tried to open both of my eyes but they remained closed demanding more sleep. I yawned again. Sasuke must have understood how tired I was because he didn't try to wake me anymore. Instead he lifted me up into his arms.

And suddenly I wasn't cold anymore.

I rested my head against his chest and got a funny feeling that this had happened before, and I smiled goofily when I remembered the night in the rain. I seemed to be finding myself in Sasuke's arms a lot lately, and I didn't really mind that much.

He set me back onto my bed and I tried to open my eyes to look at him again but he shhhed me and told me to go to bed, and who am I to disobey?

-

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TBC..

-

_But where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself  
You can't escape the truth_

I realize you're afraid  
But you can't abandon everyone  
You can't escape  
You don't want to escape

I am so sick of speaking words that no one understands  
Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone  
I can hear you when you whisper  
But you can't even hear me screaming

Where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself  
You can't escape the truth

I realize you're afraid  
But you can't reject the whole world  
You can't escape  
You won't escape  
You can't escape  
You don't want to escape

Yeah yeah  
Yeah yeah  
Yeah yeah  
Yeah yeah  
Yeah yeah

_-**Evanescence**_

_-_

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**I just noticed all the chapters end with Naruto falling asleep. XD  
Haha seems like Naruto's been taking some NightQuil**

**-Pocky Whore**


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